I know so many people who keep their hearing loss a secret, afraid of being thought old or incompetent. In a later post I'm going to write about opening up about your loss in the workplace. That's much harder.
But for now, try it with friends and acquaintances:
Start gradually. Speak up when you can't hear, or can't understand. Make light of it. When I was young enough not to be thought old, I did speak up about my hearing loss socially. At parties, I'd use it as a kind of flirtation, leaning in to the speaker to hear better while murmuring something about "not hearing that well." I never used the term hearing loss!
And then once you've taken that first step, speak up right with friends you run into on the street "Mary! So great to see you. I can't hear a thing today... my hearing is going. But I'll keep an eye out for you." Next time go a little further: "Mary, darn, I left my hearing aid at home. I really want to talk to you. Can you email me?"
And then never again go out without your hearing aids. Preferably also not in your nightgown with a sweatshirt and jeans.
Soon you'll discover how easy it is to start every conversation with the fact that you can't hear. Many many people have some degree of hearing loss -- one in five, in fact. So your statement makes you just one more of them. instead of: "Mary, hi! are you still with the National Geographic Society? Yes? No? Did I misunderstand you? Huh? Are you traveling? Doing field research? What? Oh, New York. Yes. Huh. Yes. Well, congratulations."
Instead try: "Mary! I haven't seen you in years. I'd love to talk but my hearing is getting pretty bad. I have hearing aids but you never know.... How are you? What are you doing these days? Your dog is adorable, how old, what's her name? Can you email me? I'd love to hear about your work."
And so on. Acknowledge who you are. Share your difficulties. People are surprisingly understanding, once you put yourself forward and say exactly where you're coming from.
It's a big step. Ease into it. But very soon, I think - I promise? -- it will pay off.
But for now, try it with friends and acquaintances:
Start gradually. Speak up when you can't hear, or can't understand. Make light of it. When I was young enough not to be thought old, I did speak up about my hearing loss socially. At parties, I'd use it as a kind of flirtation, leaning in to the speaker to hear better while murmuring something about "not hearing that well." I never used the term hearing loss!
And then once you've taken that first step, speak up right with friends you run into on the street "Mary! So great to see you. I can't hear a thing today... my hearing is going. But I'll keep an eye out for you." Next time go a little further: "Mary, darn, I left my hearing aid at home. I really want to talk to you. Can you email me?"
And then never again go out without your hearing aids. Preferably also not in your nightgown with a sweatshirt and jeans.
Soon you'll discover how easy it is to start every conversation with the fact that you can't hear. Many many people have some degree of hearing loss -- one in five, in fact. So your statement makes you just one more of them. instead of: "Mary, hi! are you still with the National Geographic Society? Yes? No? Did I misunderstand you? Huh? Are you traveling? Doing field research? What? Oh, New York. Yes. Huh. Yes. Well, congratulations."
Instead try: "Mary! I haven't seen you in years. I'd love to talk but my hearing is getting pretty bad. I have hearing aids but you never know.... How are you? What are you doing these days? Your dog is adorable, how old, what's her name? Can you email me? I'd love to hear about your work."
And so on. Acknowledge who you are. Share your difficulties. People are surprisingly understanding, once you put yourself forward and say exactly where you're coming from.
It's a big step. Ease into it. But very soon, I think - I promise? -- it will pay off.